Overwhelming blah

Not in a good place mentally. Trying to get too much done, worried about too much, reminded constantly how much my broken body limits things I am able to do, or totally ruins my chances for doing things I want to, no matter how hard I'd try. Ready to sell all my art supplies and just stop bothering. I don't even know why I am running myself crazy trying to make stuff to sell for holidays. It won't sell, like it never does. But I am in panic mode because my unemployment ends sooner than I thought and I only have one job lead that probably isn't going to pan out.

Maybe I could apply for disability, but I don't know the first thing about how to save these days you need a lawyer for it, and I need to see my doctors to do paperwork for that sort of thing. I can't see my doctors because I owe them all money, and we won't mention that this also applies to not being able to get refills on my prescriptions for the same reasons. The refills I had remaining expired in October. I didn't have enough money to get them all filled in time. One of my prescriptions costs $135 by itself, for roughly 30 pills. I don't have insurance to cover visits anyway. I tried to apply for local social service aid, but they denied me because they "didn't get the info they requested by the deadline" despite me having the original form and fax data to prove I sent it in time. So now I am having to fight with them over that. Endless viscous cycle. I can't keep doing this. I just don't have it in me anymore.