Missing Memories

Hello interwebz. I have returned. I'll be catching up on emails, messages, and things I missed. Please point me toward anything you wanted me to see.

Stress triggered Fibro flares and series of migraines ran me over and I withdrew to trudge through the negative that came with it. Battling inner demons and the voices in my head. Arguing with my wrist, convincing it to behave so I can get things done.

Mourning losses with friends, thoughts and prayers with them this whole time.

Spent a great deal of time drifting and reflecting. Thinking over different things and memories after talking with people over the past few months.  Realizing that there is a vast gap at different points where my memory was... blank. Triggered memories that were...missing? Hidden, blocked somehow.  A shroud covering the events. A deep numbness, lack of emotion woven into this shroud. It's hard to describe, but as if my mind was detached from memories. Earlier memories I can call up extremely fine details about the situation, objects and people involved, fine little details many probably overlook. Some of the shrouded things are during periods things were not bad, at least it didn't feel that way.  Others, were during traumatic or extremely negative times, so in reflecting I can understand why those would be locked away.

I just never realized until now how much is missing. Wondering what has caused it. I'm not sure how to feel about it. Recording it here as a marker to remember. Trying to come to terms with it and a lot of other things.

Breaking the calcifying bindings external forces have tried to impose upon me.

How has everyone been?  Wishing you all well.