Sunday, May 13, 2018

Breaking Radio Silence

I haven't been online a lot since the end of November or so, mainly because a lot of things have been happening and changing in my life. I had a breakdown of sorts over the holidays and went into self preservation mode.  I was in a real dark place, and I am just managing to really pull myself above it where I hope it won't affect my friends or anyone around me that I care about.

I can't really talk about part of what happened. All I can say is it mainly revolved around the judge denying my Disability case, for biased reasons. I have filed an appeal with the Appeals Council, and that's all I can really say publicly. If you want to know more, feel free to ask in private.

Stress over the Disability hearing and then denial, caused autoimmune flairups from those stress triggers and snowballed. I got pretty sick several times as a result. Also had real bad flairs with my hands and wrists, needed steroid injections in my wrists. Raw skin on my hands has also made it hard to do things.  Had several bad Trigeminal Neuralgia flairs where the pain was so excruciating I just didn't want to exist. Like I said, the usual. 

Had some other things happening. Family stuff. Family illness. Deaths in the family. Just a lot of overwhelming emotional things that happened back to back.  I feel horrible that I haven't been able to be there and be supportive for everyone in the way I want to, and in the past was capable of doing. I feel like these shortcomings make me a bad person.

I know people have been concerned, not hearing from me.  I just wanted to let everyone know I was doing as okay as can be. Just didn't want to be a downer writing about nothing but depressing things, because no one wants to read about that.  I have little art and creative things, or geeky science and gardening stuff  ( mostly just pictures ) I have been keeping a record of over the months. I just haven't had the energy or presence of mind to process all the photos and upload them yet. I hope to do that soon.

Some I have already shared with my Patreons, who I am eternally grateful to and thankful for their continued support and understanding despite my absences and limited capacity to create on the level I wish I could and used to be able to. I am trying. My doctors have agreed that it is beneficial to keep trying, modify and incorporate what I can into my physical therapy exercises and such.

Just taking everything day by day.  Will start doing some catching up with everyone as I am able to.  Hope everyone is doing well.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

TLDR Dilemma

After trying for a long time, I have come to the sad conclusion that people in general have become habitually lazy in terms of awareness and willingness to engage. People don't want to read content. If it is not something that can be visually acquired within seconds of scrolling past, interest is lost. That plus algorithms designed to interfere with order of content and access to content for viewers, smashes any hope of success.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

AOL Instant Messenger Will Be Discontinued

PSA: AOL Instant Messenger will be discontinued.  For those who haven't heard and didn't get the email notice, AIM ( AOL Instant Messenger ) is being canned and dropped as of December 15, 2017.  AOHell is getting rid of it completely.  Per their email:

"We see that you've used AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) in the past, so we wanted to let you know that AIM will be discontinued and will no longer work as of December 15, 2017.

Before December 15, you can continue to use the service. After December 15, you will no longer have access to AIM and your data will be deleted. If you use an email address, your email account will not be affected and you will still be able to send and receive email as usual."
So basically everyone who kept it connected via linked accounts so they could keep in touch with friends via an instant messaging service might want to reach out and update contacts before you lose them.  I had a feeling it would happen with recent changes they made, trying to force people to use and pay for the service.
My understanding is that they are disallowing outside connections to any linked accounts.  Which means Trillian and other things like Facebook Messaging will be unable to access the AOHell buddy list content any longer, or interact with anyone using it.  You will be unable to save or export your buddy list.
You can keep in contact with me via Trillian and Discord at the following:
Trillian - leopardwolf
Discord - LeopardWolf#7905


You can see AOL ( now Oath )'s FAQ about it here:

For those of us who have used AIM since 1997 and before ( when still with AOHell as an ISP ), this really, really sucks.  So much for nostalgia and maintaining old connections.  Thanks for screwing us all over Oath.  I highly doubt you will develop anything more iconic or life changing than the original AIM platform has been.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Back In The Saddle

Apologies for the delays in more frequent updates. In wake of all the stress and preparation for my Disability hearing, the summer weather really decided to kick my ass and has caused reoccurring flairups of my autoimmune and neurocardio problems and related symptoms. I am still sick, but the bulk of the stressful events triggering symptoms has passed, so hopefully my body will stop freaking out so much. The summer heat is finally breaking a bit and there is more breeze instead of still, hot air. Once it cools more, I hope things will be more manageable.

A lot of reoccurring migraine activity and blurred vision or related issues from my Sjogren's has made it difficult to focus on creative things both visually and mentally.  Even as I write this, I am seeing halos and haze and have to take frequent breaks to rest.  During the downtime I have been working on various little things as able. I am looking forward to sharing them all.  It might just be a combination of some photos and short writeups to begin with, but I am hoping to generate enough content during my "stable" periods to help compensate for the downtime when I get sick in the future.  That has been the biggest issue I have faced, the gaps in activity and posting new content.

I want to be able to get to a place where I am able to make updates more frequently even when I am really sick, to break the pattern of falling behind every time I am.  It has been a slow learning process to find the middle ground. I really appreciate everyone's continued support and encouragement while I try and find that happy balance between being a creator and living with chronic illness.

Upcoming topics will include art and creative things, gardening ( in the limited capacity I can handle ), biology and botany geekery, bonsai, raku, and discussions about small ecosystems found in aquariums, terrariums, and updates about mine and plans for upcoming development.

Hope everyone is well.

Monday, September 11, 2017

NOTICE: Legacy Livestream Streams/Videos Being Deleted End Of September 2017

This is a heads up for anyone who is currently using, or has used the legacy free Livestream accounts and may have streams/videos there that they want to save. I just logged in to mine to find a message saying they were cleaning up the servers and deleting any old content not saved by the end of the month.  If you have anything stored there that you want to keep, I suggest logging in and saving the videos and downloading them just in case.  I never got any email or other warning they planned to do this, so wanted to spread the word so no one lost their content.

Friday, September 1, 2017


Went and donated dog and cat food, litter, and some assorted toys and care products to the LA SPCA today to help with hurricane relief efforts. Let the strong young men volunteering there do all the lifting.  They were thankful for the help. Just wish I could do more.