I haven't been online a lot since the end of November or so, mainly
because a lot of things have been happening and changing in my life. I
had a breakdown of sorts over the holidays and went into self
preservation mode. I was in a real dark place, and I am just managing
to really pull myself above it where I hope it won't affect my friends
or anyone around me that I care about.
I can't
really talk about part of what happened. All I can say is it mainly
revolved around the judge denying my Disability case, for biased
reasons. I have filed an appeal with the Appeals Council, and that's all
I can really say publicly. If you want to know more, feel free to ask
in private.
Stress over the Disability hearing and then denial, caused autoimmune flairups from those stress triggers
and snowballed. I got pretty sick several times as a result. Also had real bad flairs
with my hands and wrists, needed steroid injections in my wrists.
Raw skin on my hands has also made it hard to do things. Had several bad Trigeminal Neuralgia flairs where the pain was so
excruciating I just didn't want to exist. Like I said, the usual.
Had
some other things happening. Family stuff. Family illness. Deaths in
the family. Just a lot of overwhelming emotional things that happened
back to back. I feel horrible that I haven't been able to be there and
be supportive for everyone in the way I want to, and in the past was
capable of doing. I feel like these shortcomings make me a bad person.
I
know people have been concerned, not hearing from me. I just wanted to
let everyone know I was doing as okay as can be. Just didn't want to be
a downer writing about nothing but depressing things, because no one
wants to read about that. I have little art and creative things, or
geeky science and gardening stuff ( mostly just pictures ) I have been
keeping a record of over the months. I just haven't had the energy or
presence of mind to process all the photos and upload them yet. I hope
to do that soon.
Some I have already shared
with my Patreons, who I am eternally grateful to and thankful for their
continued support and understanding despite my absences and limited
capacity to create on the level I wish I could and used to be able to. I
am trying. My doctors have agreed that it is beneficial to keep trying,
modify and incorporate what I can into my physical therapy exercises
and such.
Just taking everything day by day. Will start doing some catching up with everyone as I am able to.
Hope everyone is doing well.
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