Because I "look okay" on the outside, it is hard for people to
understand what I deal with on a daily basis with my medical conditions.
This is a little something that passes around the various communities
and through friends who also struggle with their own problems, that
helps describe it pretty accurately.
================
"I
explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having
to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of
the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without
choices, a gift most people take for granted.
Most people start
the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do
whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they
do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my
explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for
her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who
get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of
taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have
someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.
Its
hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do
everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having
to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I
wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that
everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one
hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my
temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any
one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to
attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that
lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the
beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss
never having to count “spoons”
================
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory
No comments:
Post a Comment