tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73041532509273397732024-03-05T20:39:09.064-06:00LeopardWolf's Blog-spotLeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.comBlogger448125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-14749069092081474522021-04-11T22:51:00.000-05:002021-04-11T22:51:08.557-05:00Mom I Love You Forever And Always<p>There's no easy way to say this. Mom's gone. She passed peacefully in her sleep Saturday morning. I am thankful she is no longer suffering or hurting. Her soul is free and she is at peace.<br /></p><div><br /></div><div>
<div>I am eternally thankful to the home health and the hospice staff, nurses, aids, and everyone else who helped me take care of mom these last few months, with such caring consideration and respect, and treated us like their own family. Words cannot express how much it helped and meant to us both.</div><div><br /></div><div>
Mom was grateful to know that total strangers all over the world cared so much for her. We wanted everyone who reads this ( whether you ever commented or couldn't find the right words but wished the best with all your heart )
to know
how thankful she was, and I want you to know how thankful I am.
</div>
</div><div><br /></div><div>
I am exhausted and hurting from crying. I am crushed, even though I knew it would happen. I am just in a worse place than I was already, now that she's gone. Forgive me if I get upset or short or anything at any point in the near future.</div><div><br /></div><div>
Just very overwhelmed right now. I will have more information about memorials and arrangements in the next few days. I will share everything when it is all set up and I know more. Mom wished to be cremated and have a celebration of life rather than a funeral. She wanted for us to remember the happy times only.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I am hurting deeply because of everything happening now, that happened with mom and family drama, and everything that happened with all the loss last year and things that happened before that, which I kept mostly to myself.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have kept myself detached and numb to everything for a long time because I had no choice, and that is not healthy. That ends now.</div><div><br /></div><div>I just need tons of positive support and the least amount of negativity in all things as possible.
</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>
Thank you to everyone for your continued love and support through these long months and for your thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.<br /></div><div><br /><br /></div>LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-38212591468844952092020-07-11T12:05:00.000-05:002020-07-11T12:05:40.574-05:00Wasabi Crossed Over<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
A bright new star shines in the sky. Mr. Wawa ( Wasabi ) crossed the Rainbow Bridge.<br /><br />He was 20 years old. He lived a very long, happy life. Fluffy soft and cuddles, unending purrs. Soft as a cloud. Always waahhh-ing and talking. Singing us the song of his people for some food and yums. He was the most patient and tolerant cat I have ever known. Best stray rescue and foster failure I ever could have asked for.<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://www.leopardwolf.com/animals/wawaarmy3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="719" data-original-width="800" src="https://www.leopardwolf.com/animals/wawaarmy3.jpg" /></a></div>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<br /><br /><br />Any of you who have known me any amount of time, know that he meant the world to me. I love all my animals, but my cats are my heart. Wawa was a rescue from a farm in Mississippi, where he had been shot. Some of you who have been around since the old days of LiveJournal will even remember when I caught him and brought him home. Befriended him with hotdogs. So many people in the community came together to help support efforts for his rescue and vet care.<br /><br />He went on to become a therapy cat and Emotional Support Animal. He helped me through the most difficult moments in my life. He has been a constant source of happiness and laughs, always talkative with a wide range of vocals. Many of you over the years heard him, whether we were on the phone or playing video games with voice chat, and especially when I started streaming. He was our official gaming and raiding cat, always wishing good luck meows on big boss fights.<br /><br />Everyone who met him loved him. Even people who didn't like cats. He changed the minds of many people about cats. He touched the lives of many. I owe a special thanks to Sherry and Marshall, and to Brian, for when you fostered him temporarily when we were in bad living situations. You helped keep our family together and gave us hope when we most needed it. I am eternally grateful to you all.<br /><br />Wawa had been struggling on and off with health problems over the past few years, mostly GI and thyroid stuff. Every time I took him in for a new senior exam and bloodwork, I feared the worst. But the vets always remarked he was the healthiest elderly cat they had ever seen, besides the more minor problems he had.<br /><br />He had his recent checkup a month ago and everything looked and sounded fine, besides weight loss. We had been struggling with keeping weight on him, just something that happens with geriatric animals after certain point. He was on a special diet later in life and medication to help.<br /><br />Wawa had been improving and able to eat more solid foods again, and it gave me some hope that we'd get weight back on him and he'd be okay and I would be blessed with another year or more of time with him.<br /><br />His mind and his soul were always willing, but his little body just decided it was time. He passed away safe at home, surrounded with love and comfort. Wawa is in a better place now, free and whole in spirit.<br /><br /><br />He will always be with us. Energy cannot be lost. It simply changes forms.<br /><br /><br />Thank you for everything. We love you. Rest easy now my little Wah-ling.<br /><br /><br /><br />-------<br /><br />" We'll be alive again in a thousand blades of grass, and a million leaves; we'll be falling in the raindrops and blowing in the fresh breeze; we'll be glittering in the dew under the stars and the moon . . . " - Philip Pullman<br /><br /><br /><br />LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-14149598100962167102020-03-11T16:41:00.001-05:002020-03-11T16:41:03.240-05:00Checking In<div>
Deepest thanks to everyone who offered their thoughts and prayers
and support after Ember's passing. It really means a lot to me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I know many of you met her or were inspired by her, one way or another. She was a remarkable, one of a kind dog.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The
family we adopted her from sent a beautiful memorial flower
arrangement. I will share a picture of them and the memorials we are
having made for her, as soon as we get them back.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I
got really sick with a massive flair with the upset and stress of
Ember's passing and other stuff going on with my mom going through
cancer treatment.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My jaw and face have been
sore and swollen on and off during this time because of it, so I have
just been sleeping a lot trying to feel better.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hope everyone is doing as well as can be.</div>
LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-91695411707478463602020-02-14T02:24:00.000-06:002020-02-14T02:24:43.335-06:00Ember Crossed OverA bright new star shines in the sky tonight. Ember crossed the Rainbow Bridge this morning. We knew she didn't have much longer, but didn't expect it to be so sudden. She had been improving over the last week, and seemed more like her old self the past few days. She passed peacefully in her sleep at home. March 5th would have been her 14th birthday. I feel like I didn't do enough for her, compared to all she did for me as my first assistance dog. Ember is in a better place now, no longer in pain.<br />
<br />
She will always be with us. Energy cannot be lost. It simply changes forms. Ember dog had a metric ton of energy, the kind that doesn't just cease to exist. She wanted nothing more than to be as close as she could and make you as happy as she could. Gentle,kind soul. Thank you for everything. We love you. Rest easy now.<br />
<br />
-------<br />
<br />
" We'll be alive again in a thousand blades of grass, and a million leaves; we'll be falling in the raindrops and blowing in the fresh breeze; we'll be glittering in the dew under the stars and the moon . . . " - Philip Pullman<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://leopardwolf.com/animals/emberpatchvest2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://leopardwolf.com/animals/emberpatchvest2.jpg" data-original-height="682" data-original-width="800" height="340" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-74789835048260240452019-12-25T17:26:00.001-06:002019-12-25T17:26:14.863-06:00Blessed Yule<span data-offset-key="4o8nf-0-0"><span data-text="true">Bright and Blessed Yule to everyone. Merry Winter Holiday, whichever one you celebrate, to everyone. May all your dreams and wishes come true.</span></span>LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-62451991491184796892019-12-24T16:02:00.001-06:002019-12-24T16:02:30.696-06:00Returning For Good, I HopeNo better time to return like the present. I have been away dealing with a lot of things, some of which I cannot really talk about, and others I may. I have some good news to share soon. How have you all been? Well as can be, I hope. I have a lot of catching up to do. Point me toward anything you'd like me to know about, and feel free to message me privately with any updates you wish to share. If I miss anything, my apologies. Catching up with months worth of writing from all my friends is no easy task, and goodness knows I am not perfect at it by any means, but I will try my best. Much love to all of you, and looking forward to catching up.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-4093272824538280702019-08-09T20:29:00.000-05:002019-08-09T20:29:30.173-05:00Hellblade: No WSAD To Arrows Remap?I was going to play Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice tonight or tomorrow,
only to discover you can't remap WSAD to arrow keys. I normally do, for
accessibility reasons ( bad fingers and wrists ). Console gaming is
clearly more important than PC. Will try and find a work around.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-51222186618330155302019-08-03T19:06:00.000-05:002019-08-03T19:06:50.383-05:00On TwitchGoing forward, you can catch me streaming art and gaming adventures on
Twitch! Follow and ding the notification bell to know when I go live!
--- <a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.twitch.tv/leopardwolf&source=gmail&ust=1564958836964000&usg=AFQjCNFk1Mbd8gOY5GjDcHpZhtJe3wDF-Q" href="https://www.twitch.tv/leopardwolf" target="_blank">https://www.twitch.tv/<wbr></wbr>leopardwolf</a>LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-68904386807815429062019-08-03T17:35:00.002-05:002019-08-03T17:35:49.768-05:00Midsummer UpdateI'm alive. Been focusing all energy on some new endeavors and adventures
the past several months. Happy I can finally start sharing info about
it here. Stayed tuned. Hope everyone has been well.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-42666723142879657492019-03-05T11:58:00.001-06:002019-03-05T12:00:06.964-06:00Doing OkayHello everyone. How are you all? I am as okay as can be. The usual
here, trying to keep my body from misbehaving. Doing what I can here and
there as I am able. Physical therapy stuff. Fixing dislocated joints.
The weather flip flopping back and forth from warm to cold doesn't help.
Trying to adjust food eating ability with progressively worsening
dental and jaw conditions. Not having any front teeth except few on
bottom is making it very difficult. But not much can be done. Laughing
it off as better than dieting methods because it drastically limits what
I can eat. There is other stuff happening, but I am choosing not to
talk about it here. Otherwise everything is as okay as can be. Stay
warm and cozy, and be well.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-2686830642918039412019-01-30T08:49:00.000-06:002019-01-30T08:49:31.950-06:00Why Hurt Others?<div dir="ltr">
Something I need to get out of my system. I am so sick
and tired of people doing purposeful, malicious things to hurt others.
Like the guy who purposefully backed into me beginning of November 2018,
with his supersized pickup truck's tow hitch, on the exit ramp of the
EJGH hospital parking garage, where I had stopped behind him waiting for
him to continue down.
I literally did nothing wrong, besides try and read a sticker he had in
his rear window. I remember thinking it was funny how big the truck was
because it almost touched the parking garage ceiling, and that tow
hitch stuck out so I followed with a safe distance between us. Enough
that when he stopped suddenly for no reason and sat there, I saw his
reverse lights come on and had time to *honk honk* to warn him to stop,
then lay full weight blaring my horn when he kept coming. But could not
react fast enough to do that and put myself in reverse to avoid him.
He didn't expect me to report it to the police or insurance. When his
insurance company got notice from mine, he lawyered up and lied about
it. Because he knew he was wrong and had something to hide. He claimed
he was in a parking spot and I hit him, knowing it would put me at
fault even though it is a complete lie. There was absolutely no damage
to his truck because he rammed me with his tow hitch, knowing it would
damage me but not him. Wonder how many other people he's done that to.
So now I am stuck with around $600 in damages to my car that I can't
afford to fix. My insurance won't cover anything until I exceed the $1k
deductible I have.
Must be nice to have money and a lawyer, to be a local influential
individual who works with the
local sports teams through the Superdome and as a local personal fitness
coach who has been on TV. Which he apparently is, I found out. Must be
nice to have the money from that and the merchandise he sells through
his company, whose logo was on the truck he hit me with. Once again I
am fucked even though I did everything right and everything I should
have. Fucked because this guy has anger management issues or whatever
else caused him to do what he did. Fucked because he lied about it to
avoid responsibility. All I wanted was to get my car fixed from damages
he caused. We won't mention that I ended up having to go to the
hospital for neck and shoulder pain later that evening which turned out
to be whiplash, because even a 5mph impact fucks you up when you have a
connective tissue disorder. I hope the asshole reads this one day and
realizes all he did was hurt a disabled person who never did anything to
hurt him. I hope no one ever does the same thing to his daughter or
anyone else he cares about. I forgive you, but I hope karma teaches you a
lesson. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-68492382268436871172019-01-20T02:26:00.001-06:002019-01-20T02:26:06.820-06:00Broken Greenhouse<div dir="ltr">
<div>
Apologies for not much posting, but on top of having
to deal with painful emergency oral surgery and recovery over the
holidays, and other general downers like not being able to eat much
without blending it because hardly any teeth left ( new dieting
strategy? lolz ), my greenhouse was totally destroyed early this morning
due do unexpected severe wind storm. It was already damaged from a wind
storm that happened while I was laid up from the oral surgery, and not
having had the chance to fully repair that damage and some tension loss
in the guy ropes. The wind brought in by this front had 50mph sustained
gusts all day that just obliterated the frame and cover. I had plans to
start plant propagation and seed stuff next week and document all that,
but now I have nowhere to do it because we had to emergency move a full
20ft greenhouse worth of stuff into the garage. Now there is no other
room even to mess with workshop or ceramics stuff or much anything
else. Finding myself at another standstill until I figure out what to
do, just as I had gotten to a place where I had the momentum and means
to get stuff going again. FML. Images and stuff here: </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
https://www.patreon.com/posts/broken-24091363</div>
</div>
LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-78101983170093236672018-12-06T23:23:00.001-06:002018-12-06T23:23:04.738-06:00#Anthemgame TestdriveTotally stoked!! Mike and I got into the Anthem Closed Alpha happening
this weekend!! We have both been really excited waiting for more
information about the game to come out. Now we get to take a test
drive!LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-3478530486594607442018-11-07T21:16:00.000-06:002018-11-07T21:16:16.789-06:00Dysautonomia Awareness Story
<div>
<div class="gmail-">
<div class="gmail-_1mf gmail-_1mj">
<span><span>About
time a decent story about Dysautonomia was done locally. This is one
of the conditions I have. It causes my heart rate and blood pressure to
do weird things, and causes me to pass out under certain conditions,
feel extremely dizzy, weak and fatigued all the time, digestive issues,
and other things. Watch the video and please share. It might find
someone who needs it.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="gmail-">
<div class="gmail-_1mf gmail-_1mj">
<span><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="gmail-">
<div class="gmail-_1mf gmail-_1mj">
<span><span>http://www.fox8live.com/2018/11/07/dysautonomia-battle-with-an-invisible-illness</span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-11053929553485307332018-11-06T22:02:00.001-06:002018-11-06T22:02:52.984-06:00Disability Update Appeals Council threw out my case without even looking at it. They
don't care that the judge was openly biased and wrongfully denied me.
SSA didn't want to have to pay a 35yr old SSI *AND* SSDI plus back pay
owed for both. I had enough work credits through this entire 2yr+
process before my hearing with the judge, but they expired while my case
was drug out waiting for a hearing. Thus SSA knew it would prevent me
being able to reapply for SSDI after the judge denied me. Now I have to
start the process all over. I can only apply for SSI now.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-29737230599205873282018-11-02T20:19:00.001-05:002018-11-02T20:19:13.850-05:00Nerve Conduction StudyHad a nerve conduction procedure today. Insanely painful when they
started needling the muscles in both arms. Almost triggered pain syncope
response. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome confirmed in both wrists. Not a
surprise, its been there for years. Just wish someone would have ordered
the testing sooner.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-3324906455459089972018-09-22T08:49:00.001-05:002018-09-22T08:49:48.736-05:00Update On Tesla / Service Dog StuffI haven't made any updates in a while about Tesla's
training progress. Nothing too ground shattering had happened, just
working through his adolescent stuff. It was all going fairly well, he
was doing well at doctor's appointments and in public, fine in pet
stores and anywhere else we went. Bracing well, starting to retrieve
objects in public, more challenging scenarios.<br /><br />But then
there was an incident involving a pack of nasty reactive dogs belonging
to an irresponsible neighbor of family we visited. They were constantly
fence fighting trying to antagonize Ember and Tesla, who ignored them.
At one point the bad dogs started fighting with each other right next to
the fence, and because I was near the fence when it happened, Tesla ran
toward me and them, to defend me.<br /><br />I stepped in to stop him,
grabbing his collar to hold him back, because the other dogs were small
and I was worried he would be blamed for hurting them or of him getting
hurt. I lost my balance and used my hand to steady myself on the ground.
The most aggressive of those bad dogs pushed through/under the chain
fence at that point and nailed my hand while trying to get at Tesla, and
the whole thing got Tesla real upset.<br /><br />I actually ended up
having a pain induced syncope episode and passed out after I managed to
stumble deliriously inside with partial tunnel vision. I had to go to
the emergency clinic and report the incident. Then went through a
horrible experience of having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics
they gave me as precaution for the animal bite.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Ever
since that happened, Tesla has been reactive to other dogs and more
protective in general. Any time he sees dogs in public, he has
outbursts. I have been working for months trying to re-socialize him,
and just when it seems like we have progress, something happens to undo
it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
Like the amazing day of Tesla going with me to the hospital
for doctor's appointments and radiology stuff. Got all sorts of comments
on how well behaved he was, etc. Then we stopped by our local pet store to see
friends and get his claws ground, since I was having bad wrist trouble.<br /></div>
He was fine with dogs already behind the
counter, peeking over to see them curiously while we waited our turn. A
man suddenly comes in despite that I was right against the door and
there was clearly no space with big Tesla standing there too. The guy
had some sort of Pekinese or similar, and the dog was straining at the
leash panting like crazy pulling to get into the salon... right into
Tesla's face. Which triggered an outburst.<br /></div>
It's difficult.
I now feel like I am "that person, with that kind of dog". I have
worked with dog reactivity, but none of my own personal dogs have ever been this bad
off.
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am at a
point now where I don't have much choice but to consider Tesla a
washout. Unless I can drastically change the behavior to where it
wouldn't be a liability. I don't have the money for taking him to
repeated long term reactive dog classes to try and sort the issue out,
and I am not sure it would fix things enough to allow him to ever not
have that liability.
Unfortunately assistance dogs cannot be reactive in the way he is
acting.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He'd be perfect for Schutzhund IPO
work. Which is the next thing we are going to try, to see if putting
the reaction under controlled environment and command will help him
understand he should not react that way unless asked to do so, and only
in the IPO "game" situations. It's sort of like a kid going to karate.
They learn discipline and skills and time and place for using those
skills and energy, in controlled environments or situations.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Even
with the specific training, there is no guarantee it will work well
enough that
I can keep working Tesla as my assistance dog. Even with the right
training, he probably never will be 100% again. There might be too much
liability if there is even a slight chance he might become reactive at
the wrong place and time. Granted, this could happen with ANY dog, even
one who has never shown any reactivity. They are animals, not
machines. At this rate I don't have many options.</div>
<div>
<br />I will
probably need to get another dog, if by some miracle I can't make Tesla
work out. I run into the same problem as before. As much as I want to
keep Tesla and I am really attached to him, I don't really have the
financial means to keep 3 large dogs ( Ember, Tesla, and whoever new dog
is ) if I do need to start all over again and get another dog.
Especially since we'd be looking at a larger breed like a mastiff type
dog. I'm just not sure I can try owner training again,between the
financial and emotional strain. Raising these dogs from tiny pups and
then them being perfect except for some random fluke reason, too much
emotional hurt in it and feeling like a failure when I have been forced
to rehome them.<br /><br />I am still on CPL's waiting list, but have not
heard anything back besides forms to update my information
periodically. I am not hopeful I will hear anything anytime soon. </div>
<div>
<br /><br />
I am at a point where I am ready to give up if this working dog training doesn't work.
Maybe I'll just become a hermit and not leave the house anymore.<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This
week starts the Schutzhund IPO training with someone I was introduced
to who has experience with police K-9s and military working dogs. He is
familiar with the most high drive of working dog lines, which will be a
valuable asset in trying to reshape Tesla's behavior.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Fingers
crossed this will all somehow work out. I will post more updates along
the way. Positive thoughts for us are greatly appreciated.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-26429408691059758432018-08-28T20:51:00.000-05:002018-08-28T20:51:00.897-05:00Reboot Redux<div>
Here I am again. I know I have been pretty bad about writing
updates, and worse about being able to check in on friends and see how
everyone is doing.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I just can't seem to catch a
break. Just when I think I'll be able to get back into a good routine
centered around this, it never fails that something always happens to
throw things into utter chaos. Murphey's Law.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not
complaining about it, just laughing at all the ironies and making note
of much flailing and swearing that ensued. Imagine it in the comical
sense of watching my spotty-stripe self run around flailing and maybe
swearing in ancient Pictish or some Lovecraftian tongue.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
First,
my computer that is used for basically everything I do, from digital
edits of images and video to crafty creative and social media related
things like being able to browse Facebook or similar sites, to playing
games like Skyrim, Fallout, and a handful of others that help me keep
some semblance of my (in)sanity.... well, it started acting very weirdly
months ago, freezing and hating on web browsing and programs.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It
got worse and started randomly shutting down and restarting for no
apparent reason. Right in the middle of me working. Lots of lost edits. Then just
restarting no matter what I did, without warning. I posted more about it
on Patrreon, so head there for that full story. Thankfully I fixed it.
Which is why I can post now! Yay!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
During
the time that was happening, our AC broke. We were without air
conditioning for a week. In 90F + heat. Those sorts of conditions are
pretty miserable for normal people.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My health
problems and faulty autonomic system not regulating body temperature
right, made it gazillions and trillions times worse. I was overheating
like nobody's business.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It made me real
sick and triggered flairups of epic proportions. Bless my amazing aunt
for covering the cost of repair and small portable AC unit till we could
fight with the warranty people.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I glued myself in front of the window unit and stayed in one spot, with only the little portable AC to cool the entire house.
I barely managed to avoid a trip to the ER from heat stroke.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I
was pretty delirious during that time, but I remember thinking it was
funny that all the animals were huddled in the room by the portable AC
trying to stay cool. The rest of the house was an oven.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Near
the end of that ordeal, our dishwasher started leaking water all over
the kitchen floor. Thank goodness we didn't start it as we were going
to bed. I heard the water from the other room. I actually thought it
was one of the cats or dogs drinking, and went to investigate because it
sounded weird. Much flailing and spazzing followed as I went grabbing
for towels to soak up the water. We're still waiting to have an extra
$75 to get that fixed. Put down a drip pan right against the leaking
edge to catch any water for the time being.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now
that I am not melting into a puddle and my computer is behaving itself
again, I will be getting back around the catch-up game. Apologies for
masses of responses, comments, etc. that you might get from me at one
time.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hope everyone is well and look forward to catching up.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-44301229144760583852018-05-13T23:56:00.001-05:002018-05-13T23:56:57.190-05:00Breaking Radio Silence
<div>
I haven't been online a lot since the end of November or so, mainly
because a lot of things have been happening and changing in my life. I
had a breakdown of sorts over the holidays and went into self
preservation mode. I was in a real dark place, and I am just managing
to really pull myself above it where I hope it won't affect my friends
or anyone around me that I care about.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I can't
really talk about part of what happened. All I can say is it mainly
revolved around the judge denying my Disability case, for biased
reasons. I have filed an appeal with the Appeals Council, and that's all
I can really say publicly. If you want to know more, feel free to ask
in private.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Stress over the Disability hearing and then denial, caused autoimmune flairups from those stress triggers
and snowballed. I got pretty sick several times as a result. Also had real bad flairs
with my hands and wrists, needed steroid injections in my wrists.
Raw skin on my hands has also made it hard to do things. Had several bad Trigeminal Neuralgia flairs where the pain was so
excruciating I just didn't want to exist. Like I said, the usual. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Had
some other things happening. Family stuff. Family illness. Deaths in
the family. Just a lot of overwhelming emotional things that happened
back to back. I feel horrible that I haven't been able to be there and
be supportive for everyone in the way I want to, and in the past was
capable of doing. I feel like these shortcomings make me a bad person.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I
know people have been concerned, not hearing from me. I just wanted to
let everyone know I was doing as okay as can be. Just didn't want to be
a downer writing about nothing but depressing things, because no one
wants to read about that. I have little art and creative things, or
geeky science and gardening stuff ( mostly just pictures ) I have been
keeping a record of over the months. I just haven't had the energy or
presence of mind to process all the photos and upload them yet. I hope
to do that soon.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Some I have already shared
with my Patreons, who I am eternally grateful to and thankful for their
continued support and understanding despite my absences and limited
capacity to create on the level I wish I could and used to be able to. I
am trying. My doctors have agreed that it is beneficial to keep trying,
modify and incorporate what I can into my physical therapy exercises
and such.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Just taking everything day by day. Will start doing some catching up with everyone as I am able to.
Hope everyone is doing well.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-9714717650470784682017-11-25T14:36:00.000-06:002017-11-25T14:36:07.426-06:00TLDR DilemmaAfter trying for a long time, I have come to the sad
conclusion that people in general have become habitually lazy in terms
of awareness and willingness to engage. People don't want to read
content. If it is not something that can be visually acquired within
seconds of scrolling past, interest is lost. That plus algorithms
designed to interfere with order of content and access to content for
viewers, smashes any hope of success.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-73072542788799322822017-11-09T23:07:00.000-06:002017-11-09T23:07:44.439-06:00Tesla's BirthdayTesla is 1 year old today. Happy birthday, you fuzzy dork!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.leopardwolf.com/animals/tesla_age_compare1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.leopardwolf.com/animals/tesla_age_compare1.jpg" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="800" height="256" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-23638630962727807852017-10-17T21:39:00.000-05:002017-10-17T21:39:59.353-05:00AOL Instant Messenger Will Be Discontinued<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
PSA: AOL Instant Messenger will be
discontinued. For those who haven't heard and didn't get the email
notice, AIM ( AOL Instant Messenger ) is being canned and dropped as of <span style="white-space: nowrap;"><span class="gmail-aBn" tabindex="0"><span class="gmail-aQJ">December 15, 2017</span></span></span>. AOHell is getting rid of it completely. Per their email:<br /><br />"We see that you've used AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) in the past, so we
wanted to let you know that AIM will be discontinued and will no longer
work as of <span style="white-space: nowrap;"><span class="gmail-aBn" tabindex="0"><span class="gmail-aQJ">December 15, 2017</span></span>.</span>
<br /><br />
Before <span class="gmail-aBn" tabindex="0"><span class="gmail-aQJ">December 15</span></span>, you can continue to use the service. After <span style="white-space: nowrap;"><span class="gmail-aBn" tabindex="0"><span class="gmail-aQJ">December 15</span></span>,</span> you will no longer have access to AIM and your data will be deleted. If you use an <a href="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?tab=wm#m_4907206885807907543_" style="color: #333333; text-decoration: none;">@aim.com</a> email address, your email account will not be affected and you will still be able to send and receive email as usual."<br /></div>
So
basically everyone who kept it connected via linked accounts so they
could keep in touch with friends via an instant messaging service might
want to reach out and update contacts before you lose them. I had a
feeling it would happen with recent changes they made, trying to force
people to use and pay for the service.<br /></div>
My understanding is
that they are disallowing outside connections to any linked accounts.
Which means Trillian and other things like Facebook Messaging will be
unable to access the AOHell buddy list content any longer, or interact
with anyone using it. You will be unable to save or export your buddy
list.<br /></div>
You can keep in contact with me via Trillian and Discord at the following:<br /></div>
Trillian - leopardwolf<br /></div>
Discord - LeopardWolf#7905<br /><br /><div>
<div>
<div>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You can see AOL ( now Oath )'s FAQ about it here:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
https://help.aol.com/articles/aim-discontinued</div>
<div>
<br />For
those of us who have used AIM since 1997 and before ( when still with
AOHell as an ISP ), this really, really sucks. So much for nostalgia
and maintaining old connections. Thanks for screwing us all over Oath.
I highly doubt you will develop anything more iconic or life changing
than the original AIM platform has been.<br /> </div>
</div>
</div>
LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-27921831330437663212017-09-29T13:00:00.000-05:002017-09-29T13:00:31.302-05:00Back In The Saddle<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-_2TO-components-SimpleRichTextEditor--paragraphElement">
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-block m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
<span><span>Apologies
for the delays in more frequent updates. In wake of all the stress and
preparation for my Disability hearing, the summer weather really
decided to kick my ass and has caused reoccurring flairups of my
autoimmune and neurocardio problems and related symptoms. I am still
sick, but the bulk of the stressful events triggering symptoms has
passed, so hopefully my body will stop freaking out so much. The summer
heat is finally breaking a bit and there is more breeze instead of
still, hot air. Once it cools more, I hope things will be more
manageable.</span></span></div>
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-block m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
<span><span><br />
</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-_2TO-components-SimpleRichTextEditor--paragraphElement">
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-block m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
<span><span>A
lot of reoccurring migraine activity and blurred vision or related
issues from my Sjogren's has made it difficult to focus on creative
things both visually and mentally. Even as I write this, I am seeing
halos and haze and have to take frequent breaks to rest. During the
downtime I have been working on various little things as able. I am
looking forward to sharing them all. It might just be a combination of
some photos and short writeups to begin with, but I am hoping to
generate enough content during my "stable" periods to help compensate
for the downtime when I get sick in the future. That has been the
biggest issue I have faced, the gaps in activity and posting new
content.
</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-_2TO-components-SimpleRichTextEditor--paragraphElement">
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-block m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
<span><span><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-block m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
<span><span>I
want to be able to get to a place where I am able to make updates more
frequently even when I am really sick, to break the pattern of falling
behind every time I am. It has been a slow learning process to find
the middle ground. I really appreciate everyone's continued support and
encouragement while I try and find that happy balance between being a
creator and living with chronic illness.</span></span></div>
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-block m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
<span><span><br />
</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-block m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
<span><span>Upcoming
topics will include art and creative things, gardening ( in the
limited capacity I can handle ), biology and botany geekery, bonsai,
raku, and discussions about small ecosystems found in aquariums,
terrariums, and updates about mine and plans for upcoming development.</span></span></div>
<div class="m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-block m_7573379415914813845gmail-public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
<span><span><br /></span></span></div>
<span><span>Hope everyone is well.</span></span>LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-46666684750806986042017-09-11T16:03:00.000-05:002017-09-11T16:03:06.809-05:00NOTICE: Legacy Livestream Streams/Videos Being Deleted End Of September 2017This is a heads up for anyone who is currently using, or has used the
legacy free Livestream accounts and may have streams/videos there that
they want to save. I just logged in to mine to find a message saying
they were cleaning up the servers and deleting any old content not saved
by the end of the month. If you have anything stored there that you
want to keep, I suggest logging in and saving the videos and downloading
them just in case. I never got any email or other warning they planned
to do this, so wanted to spread the word so no one lost their content.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304153250927339773.post-86152738309826376192017-09-01T23:32:00.000-05:002017-09-01T23:32:51.431-05:00HelpingWent and donated dog and cat food, litter, and some assorted toys and
care products to the LA SPCA today to help with hurricane relief
efforts. Let the strong young men volunteering there do all the
lifting. They were thankful for the help. Just wish I could do more.LeopardWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11585736682579263797noreply@blogger.com0